A Wondering Soul

Oh dear readers. I have been neglectful. Woefully so. Has Facebook become my mistress? Away from you?! Never! Has working for The Man tired me out? Not enough to keep me from you. So, why have I abandoned you for almost the entire month of February?  I want to think it is because I have been pondering an interesting concept. Home.

So often easily defined, but I have found myself surprised by what I have considered Home. All my years in Dallas, I never felt Home. I always thought Home was somewhere else. At times, anywhere else. Milwaukee? No. South Bend...only when my ND family is there. Dickinson? Perhaps. FdL? Yes and no. 

It's a odd thing. It took moving to Chicago for me to realize I had made a home in Dallas. I had wonderful friends, I absolutely loved the area I lived...I was settled. And the entire time I never felt settled. I never thought Dallas would be permanent.  I suppose that is true considering I did indeed move.  Was I not living in the present moment? Not accepting of my current circumstances? Always looking for something more, something better? 

All these feelings and thoughts came about recently when I was running. I was trying to get through another TM run and had in my mind's eye my little Dallas neighborhood where I first started running.  Oh, the success I felt when I ran my first mile without walking! And White Rock Lake where I had taken up running every Sunday morning last spring (defined my own personal religious meditation). I realized I missed Dallas. I missed Home. 

Do I fear Chicago, my love-city, won't be home? Not necessarily. The love of my life is here and surely I will meet the intellectual, humorous women whose company I seek. And I will raise a family here and will have a strong, challenging career. What I do fear, or rather, what I am saddened by, is that from '04 until this past October I yearned for Home but didn't realize I had been home all along. 

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum

I did it. And now I have a problem. Severe, no, problem, yes. On the computer more than usual. Dreaming segmented ADD-type dreams. Thinking about it at work. Excited to get home later to check what people are up to. Yes. I did it. I joined Facebook.

If you recall, I started the blog with a post about not wanting to be involved in such site, online voyeurism, if you will (though minus the creepy sexual part). It all started with my buddy Georgie noted I was not going the extra degree by joining the cool kids on Facebook. Then when I requested a home email from another friend, she said, 'personal email?! you crazy. you can contact me on Facebook!'. Then a follow up with RJB and Georgie...this isn't for school kiddos? Apparently not. So I took the plunge. Only after discussing with RJB that surely I can just cancel my membership if I get no virtual friends or get creeped out. But alas, day 3 has passed and I'm hooked. Beware, gentle reader, of the lure of Facebook.

Fahrenheit 451

I received sad news this morning. My favorite (independent) bookstore, Harry W. Schwartz Booksellers, is closing its doors after serving the Milwaukee area for 82 years. 

There's some P history here too. My dad bought his medical books from Harry back in the 60s. Before moving to Dallas, I lived in Shorewood and had a Schwartz within walking distance of my duplex. There was nothing better than browsing the aisles after a long week, lovingly selecting a book with the excitement of  having a date that night with the adventure the book would reveal to me.

Clearly the economy downturn and the massive scale bookstores that offer thousands of selections at a decent discount will slowly and surely make independent bookstore closings an oft told tale. Perhaps I am truly saddened by dashed pipe dreams. My long time fairy tale dream has been to open my own bookstore. I always thought that if I were to inherit an empire like Schwartz, it would be a great deal.  Schwartz gave me hope that in this modern day, the value of a locally owned bookstore would have a place on the urban landscape. But alas....

'Bookselling was and is for me a cultural and political expression, an expression of progressive change, of challenge to oppressive authority, of a search for a community of values which can act as an underpinning of a better world.  The true profit in bookselling is the social profit; the bottom line, the measure of the impact of the bookshop on the community." 

-A. David Schwartz (July 15, 1938 - June 7, 2004)

I need more blubber

I'm sure you have all heard the weather reports of the Arctic Blast that is blowing through the midwest. I'll tell ya, this is something else. Today's high downtown was -3, with windchill of -22. And I did have to make a 2.5 block trek out to see a client this afternoon. Right. This is so cold that your teeth hurt if you are out in it too long.  The negative temps are supposed to last through the end of the day tomorrow.  Apparently I moved to Siberia instead of Chicago. FYI, currently (7:30pm) it is -10, feels like - 28. 

Not a whole lot happened this last week. I used my new super cool go-go-gadget garmin to drive out to St. Charles Tuesday/Wednesday. Sure does take the stress out of driving.  I also realized the snow brush I used to have in my car has disappeared. Meaning I had to clear out all the snow (about 2-3 inches) on my car with my hands. blah.

Alright. I'm off to get warm. It is much too cold to pontificate tonight. 

Changing attitudes as fast as B.F. Pinkerton

My, my what an uninteresting first week of 2009 it has been. Well, except for Friday night. Friday night was fabulous. For my birthday, RJB got me tickets to see Madame Butterfly, my favorite opera. The tickets were for the 9th. We had an early dinner across from the opera house before hand and then saw the show. It was amazing. Madame Butterfly is quite the heartbreaking tale.

Since then it has been snowing a lot. I am rather done with the snow but know I have entered the dark days of winter. No major holidays to look forward to and the time period when it can get really truly cold. I know in my heart of hearts that the spring and summer will be worth it.

Walking home after being downtown Saturday morning.  This is a shot one block from my building. Note the unplowed sidewalks and street. Do Not Enter indeed.

Looking up the cross street.

RJB and I signed up for the Shamrock Shuffle already. It is a HUGE 8k - the field is a little over 30,000. It occurs at the end of March and kicks off the warm weather racing season in Chicago. I have a goal to take about a minute of so off my Turkey Trot 8k time. I have an 8 week running plan in order (thanks Hal!) that will start in concert with busy season - February 1. 

This week should fly by. Tuesday night I head out to the Q center. I am doing the sub K section for the first year training on Wednesday.  This will be the true test of the Garmin. In fact, I am not even nervous about the lengthy drive. Then on Thursday we meet with our wedding priest for the first time.  This weekend is RJB's birthday weekend. We are hitting Roy's on Saturday. Sunday I will bake and cook a special dinner. Yay! So hopefully it will be a productive, quick week. I know, this seems in opposition to normal Sunday night blues. I am trying to be a little more positive Sunday nights, especially with busy season approaching!  Oh, and did I mention Big Love starts again on Sunday! Yay to Sunday night cook and HBO!

Ok, off to get ready for the week. Peace out.

Dreaming of Alice's March Hare

Here it is, the ultimate Sunday of the year.  Nearly two weeks of vacation from work, right on the cusp of busy season (or as certain people in Dallas would say, the start of the Black Out Period). Nonetheless, I cannot believe that it is 2009 already! 

I have opted out of New Year's resolutions this year. There's so much going on this year that the thought of taking another thing on will surely lead to failure of some variety. Does that mean the resolution is avoiding failure? Hmm....

Surely more later as the fun filled work week unfolds!

Little Ice Age

The week of Christmas has come and gone in a flurry (pun was unintended but now tickles me).  I headed out to FdL on Monday, after successfully pulling my back.  Driving for three + hours with a back that hurt if I sat normally and really hurt every time I checked my blind spot did not equal serene JMP. My friend Y was in the far north burbs that week but the pain was too great for me to make the exit, chill, and drive more. Boooooooooo.  

Anyways, we got snow, snow, snow, then today, driving home, insanely dense fog, melting snow, and rain - Texas style. White knuckled driving coupled with lack of depth perception, topped off with the horrific claustrophobic feeling of the fog. For miles. Seriously.  Fog white out - 2 hours, rain white out - 1ish hour, off and on. Good thing I got grade A driving instruction in Dickerville.

Back to the fun stuff. Christmas was great but different. RTP didn't make it home; first Christmas without him. And RJB came home; first Christmas with anyone but the P family. It's like a coming of age movie (Man in the Moon, if you will) except I happen to be 30, not 12 (though I wasn't trying to get with an older boy that liked my sister...maybe not so much Man on the Moon, but you get the idea). We did skype so that was fun.  I do have to comment on how nice it is to be able to drive home for the holidays rather than trying to make peace with TSA and Sir Snores 'a Lot in the seat next to me (FYI, including driving, that sucker was a good 5 hours one way).  A lot less stress.

Sylvester decided to fast while RJB and I were gone. I guess he thought it was Easter rather than Christmas! He is very happy to have his humans back in the house and has left no evidence of shenanigans. That I have discovered, that is.

Not sure if I have mentioned it yet or not, but my camera has officially bit the dust. I am left with borrowing RJB's camera or using the iphone (oh! cheers to GW for the iphone purchase...another one going against the man!).  That being said, no holiday pictures this year. If you have a camera you love and would recommend it, please let me know. I didn't realize how much I used the camera until it stopped working.

Oh Lordly Lord! TLC is playing the ad for the Tree Man story and I have the heebee geebees seeing it out of the corner of my eye.  Horror prickling up my arms...don't they know children watch TLC? Talk about nightmares...

One final comment for this particular post. RJB and I saw Doubt yesterday. Highly suggest it. High drama, intelligently done.

Happy Saturday Night, festive readers.